virgin suicides

I can never get sick of this movie... so beautiful. Sofia Coppola, brilliant.

"We knew that the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love, and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them."

*

have you ever been lonely even though you're surrounded by people?

that you had to smile, laugh, exude happiness just to make sure people will like you?

that you looked at other people with their friends and realized you don't have any real ones?

that even though you hug, hold, touch people, there's still a wall that you feel between yourself and others?

creep.

I hate that your smile is so dang cute. It makes me smile just seeing yours.

I hate that you're so funny. You can always make me laugh.

I hate that you can man up. It makes me think that you're so manly and muh shee ssuh.

I hate that you're considerate. It makes me think that you're sweet.

I hate that whenever we're surrounded by people, I only feel like you're in the room.

I hate that you cross my mind almost every day.

I hate that I thought I got over these feelings, but they're just now re-emerging.

And I especially hate that a fat chunk of my heart is yours, because I want to give all of it to God.

Frustration.

geez

So I was reading my previous post... and I realized how depressing it was. WHAT AN EMO POST. HAHAHAHA. Oh, Jane B.

How fickle people are. I'm so led by my emotions... it's so blinding.

Some things I'm just missing at the moment...

1. Friends MY age. Freak. I barely have any. They've all left me! :( I miss hanging out with peers my own age. ALL BY MYSELLLFFFFFFFFFFFF.

2. LONG HAIR. I've probably said this a million times already, but I cannot get over it. I stinkin'. miss. long. hair.

3. Time. I miss having an open schedule to hang out with people or do my own thang. School makes me so dang busy. Plus Promiseland. It's a good and bad thing for me... But it WOULD be nice to have some extra time during the weeks.

4. Youth Group! I miss thee! I miss praise team! I miss it alllll ahhhh.

5. The Valley. I hate living in LA, goodnesss. The traffic, people, Ktown, illegal immigrants looking for work, pollution, crazies... It's a mad world here.

I like to complain. I like to whine.