winter break thus far

I have immersed myself in Dexter episodes. It's like crack... but then again, I wouldn't know what being addicted to cocaine would be like, so I don't know what I'm talking about.

Oh, and I watched The Royal Tenenbaums for the first time the other night, and I absolutely adored it. Total indie flick with legit music. I loved the music. And Margot Tenenbaum. She is someone I would like to be friends with. Most definitely.

Anyway... It's only been a week of break... and I'm taking full advantage of each moment to be lazy and not have to worry about any project or assignment. I literally stay in my pajamas for the whole day, watch Dexter or movies... And my hygiene may be questionable. There may be a day where I didn't brush my teeth... Maybe.

Beneath these many, heavy layers... there are answers.

calamity

It's been a really hard week so far.

There's SOOOO much work to be done. I feel like it never ends.

I'm outside of my home instead of taking my finals at school because I've locked myself out... and the locksmith is over an hour late.

Last night, I had some family issues that have really helped me to realize just how numb that I've become. It's kinda scary.

I haven't been doing devos.

I think it's making everything that much harder.

Jesus. I need your grace. More of your grace.

!

Sleepless nights.

Neck deep in work.

Stress a bounty.

Frantically rushing.

Weeping.

Confused states of zoning out.

Moments of giving in to sleep.

Let the finals...

Begin.

UPDATE

I have watched A Walk to Remember twice while working on projects today.

I never tire of that movie. Freaking love.

I know this is weird, but I get so sad knowing that Landon Carter isn't real. Their love is all an act. Shane West is actually a weirdo rocker who likes mohawks (nothing against that), eye liner, and black nail polish. :( I'm in love with Landon Carter, not Shane West.

Cheesiest lines of the movie:

"I'm afraid of not being with you... Oh baby, that'll never happen." GAG

"I might kiss you... I might be bad at it... That's... not possible." What does that even mean?

"It's like you were sent to me to help me get through all of this... You're my angel." Cheese cheese cheese

I think I like the cheese. :)

Meanwhile, I have two weird red shapes on each of my cheeks right around the same areas. My blood vessels have popped in those areas. I realized that they were from yesterday when I was pinching my cheeks trying to stay awake during service.

I feel like I'm a climber scaling the mountain for its height... estimating how much I'll have to climb... I'm guessing how much work I'm going to have to do this week... my eyes are still climbing up that mountain... and it's a huge mountain.

Do I even make any sense right now?

nom

Sore throat. Constant coughing. Procrastination. Homework. Ugh.

Random urge to bake. Look through cabinets. Surprisingly had all the ingredients for oatmeal cookies.

Eggs. Flour. Sugar. Vanilla. Cinnamon. Oats. Buttahh, lots of it. Baking soda. Craisins.

350 degrees F. 15 minutes.

Crisp edges. Fluffy, cakey innards. Damn, I'm good. Oh wait, not my recipe. Right.

I feel like I'm going to cough up my intestines every time I have a coughing fit.

Nobody cares.

Tomorrow: "0 comments"

Day after: "0 comments"

Next day: "Anonymous: Nobody cares."

Holy Nyquil. Knock me out, knock me out, knock me out. Hayuuullll yeah.

Goodbye, cruel world.

/

Be real with others, and they'll be real with you.

Don't try to be someone you're not... How else will anyone ever get to know you?

Be comfortable and confident in who you are.

Love yourself... You are worth more than you think.

g'dammit

Skipped school twice this week because I was "sick"... I really was sick, but not sick enough to miss school. I spent that time finishing an essay I had 14 weeks to work on. Sick.

Stuffing. I like stuffing. With raisins.

I like sweet potatoes. A lot.

Seafoam. I'm really into that color lately. Black and gold, black and navy blue, all white, grey, coral, sequins, leopard print, leather, chunky knits... I die.

Mary-Kate and Ashley! I miss their style via 2007 and 2008. They're too granny now.

Jen Brill. That girl is gawwwgeous.

The celebrity that triggered my pink Converse fetish. I love love love Kirsten Dunst. (Shhh, I copy many of Kirsten's looks). Natalie Portman, Kirsten Dunst, and Keira Knightley... the Holy Trinity.

Ummm... Yay for randomness?